The story about the boy who never cried wolf.

We’ve all heard the story about the boy who cried wolf. A slightly lesser-known tale, but far more entertaining, is the story about the boy who spent 8 years getting reamed in the bum by a pack of wolves but never cried anything – until the Democrats took over! That’s the story that unfolded in the United States last week.

On March 17th, the United Nations imposed a no-fly zone over Libya. Moammar Gaddhafi defied the U.N.’s orders, and continued to bomb, shell, and terrorize his people. So for the first time in a long time, a multi-national coalition of forces came together to defend a U.N. resolution. Air strikes commenced, and the United States led the way. You would think such actions would garner widespread support amongst conservative Republicans, right? After all, this story features all the plotlines that conservatives love most: evil Arab tyrant who tortures his own citizens; hapless, hopeless U.N. that is too timid to enforce its own resolutions; John Wayne-like President of the United States who cries “Not on my watch!” and fires up the warplanes.

That’s a great story, right? Wrong.

Conservatives don’t like this story. Not this time.

The problem is, this time the John Wayne character isn’t a swash-buckling Texan who drops his missiles like he drops his e’s in “nuclear.” This time, John Wayne is a wimpy liberal half-fag who can’t fight his way out of a war, deficit, or paper bag without the help of his thicker-skinned Republican colleagues.

It’s been amazing to watch the hypocrisy unfold. First, Republicans cried foul because the President never asked Congress for approval to go to war in Libya. Never mind the fact that George W. Bush never asked Congress for approval to declare war on Iraq – this is a different story! Then, Republicans cried foul because the President didn’t have a clearly defined exit strategy for Libya. Never mind the fact that George W. Bush never had a clearly defined exit strategy for Iraq – again, this is a different story! Finally (and most amazingly), Republicans cried foul over the price tag of the Libyan operation. The same Republicans who rubber-stamped $750 billion dollars for Iraq were now complaining about the price tag of Libya! How do you say “chutzpah” in Arabic?

Said Republican congressman Roscoe Bartlett of Maryland: “This could cost us another billion dollars, which means another billion-dollar debt that our kids, our grandkids, and our great-grandkids are going to have to pay back.” Roscoe must be pretty tight-fisted, right? Looking out for the kids and grandkids and all that? Wrong. Roscoe voted yes on Iraq, and on its funding. Again and again.

But wait, there’s more! On Monday, Roscoe sent out a press release criticizing President Obama for his “unilateral” choice to attack Libya. Never mind that France and England actually beat America to the punch, thereby making Libya a truly multi-national operation. And never mind the fact that Roscoe voted yes on the most unilateral military operation in American history. Remember – this is a different story, and in this story Libya is a unilateral war. Ipso, facto.

Fox News, of course, outdid everyone with its hypocritical, slanted, and (Roscoe will like this one) unilateral coverage of Libya. On March 23rd, the headline “U.S. Role in Libya Already Costs Hundreds of Millions of Dollars” appeared on FoxNews.com.

Fox pointed out that the United States had fired 161 Tomahawk cruise missiles into Libya, each carrying a price tag of at least $1 million.

Fox pointed out that the United States had invested 25 flying hours at an hourly rate of $10,000.

Fox pointed out that the United States would probably have to pay its pilots “combat pay”, which apparently is a lot more than regular pay. Did you know that? Me neither, because Fox never reported it until the Democrats took over. Oops.

Finally, Fox pointed out that the F-15 fighter jet that crashed in Libya cost $75 million “or more.” Total price tag of Obama’s unilateral war in Libya, according to Fox? “$100 million to $300 million per week.” That’s still $749 billion less than Iraq, but who’s counting? This is a different story!

And conservatives wonder why they’ve lost all credibility. After giving the wolves $750 billion over 8 years, they’re now crying wolf because Barack Obama needs another $100 million. Never mind that Barack Obama is saving lives and standing up to a ruthless Arab despot – the same thing Republicans lauded George W. Bush for doing just three eight years ago.

Remember, this is a different story.