Trump demands to see copy of Kate Middleton’s birth certificate

April 29th, 2011 – Donald Trump is back in the news , less than 48 hours after taking credit for the release of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Today, the billionaire businessman-turned birther demanded to see a copy of Kate Middleton’s birth certificate – and said he would not be satisfied until he can take credit for Kate’s ascent to the British throne.

“Under the Act of Settlement, no foreigner is allowed to inherit the British crown,” Trump stated on Friday. “It’s my hope that Kate will put this controversy to rest, so the media can go back to asking me more important questions.”

Trump made it clear that he has no personal issues with the Duchess of Cambridge, adding that the two share several things in common. “She was a regular girl from a regular rich family, and she fell ass-backwards into more money,” said Trump. “She’s come a long way despite the odds stacked in her favor. I can relate to that.”

Trump, however, quickly added that he would not be satisfied until he sees a copy of Kate’s birth certificate. “Look, I know you guys have more important things to ask me about me,” Trump told a group of reporters outside his aerodrome. “Kate needs to address this issue. If she wants to be the queen of England, she’ll have to go through me.”

Birthers around the southern and mid-west United States agreed, demanding to see proof that Middleton is who she says she is. “She says she was born in Berkshire, and her birth certificate says she was born in Berkshire, but what proof do we have?” asked Orly Taitz, a dentist, lawyer, real estate agent, and authorized dealer of Shamwows based in California.

Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin added “How can a woman from England be a British monarch? Only people from Britain can do that.”

The controversy is sure to linger on. Birthers say Middleton could have put the issue to rest a long time ago if she had simply released her birth certificate like nobody asked her to. Now, they’re really ticked off. “If she comes back with a long form birth certificate that says she’s from England, we’ll ask to see a longer form,” said Taitz.

Added Trump, “Today I’m very proud of myself, because I’ve accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish, except for maybe Simon Cowell – I’ve been a total dick for no reason at all to people on both sides of the Atlantic.”